Feb 10 2010 Day 101

Feb 10 2010 Day 101, originally uploaded by Gabrysha.

There was someone in the hallway screaming,
Like they were facing murder head on,
The skin wrinkling from wounds to the scalp and chest.
And we all looked at each other
Silence joining us like an inviting friend
Silence like the one that sets up post at gleaming halls
Of death and decay
Silence, a warming misery like snow drifting onto overturned bodies.

I was sitting with my common notebook and my common black ink pen
And I remember wanting to cry, and to join the screaming
Let them realize there was someone else willing to give in and let their soul and mind explode with truth because I was sick of the deception and compulsive liars that were linked to me through hallways and through speech that I thought maybe, if I lost my voice I would loose them too so I could scream until my vocal cords teamed with a pain like frostbite and they would erode like the earth around me, like a mountains of mute songs being played by the shifting plains and trees falling into oblivion like lovers caught inside reality.
I was tired and sick and the illness that was creeping up my synapses of my mind was like a nuclear fog eating away my opinions.

and the teacher closed the door

Snowday

Snowday, originally uploaded by Gabrysha.

hi there!

Dyptich

Dyptich, originally uploaded by Gabrysha.

Window

Window, originally uploaded by Gabrysha.

I never thought to write you down until this moment
and if i hadn't you wouldn't even exist , a harsh laid out complexity
inside my legs, a fatty thigh hidden behind burnt out matchstick jeans
the small ignition to a well driven soul whose mileage comes with memories.
and if this war were to come down to my freedom?
my very right to speak the words love peace happiness
i would
i would in the momentary reach or adrenaline anger fear and honor i would.
given the chance to be free given the chance to live
i could not live from phrase to phrase given by someone else
"speak when spoken to."
and
I saw her soul that day
the day that was so long and so fast that it blurred by me in years.
the years she spent choked by man whose love she did not understand
and whose personality reeked of royalty.
"His Grace"
grace of a man who would betray his humanity as quickly as his politics
if merely given the chance, politics were only politics
and the heir his wife could not give him was only a child
just like his love, a love that was small and nearly unconcieved inside the womb of the beating steel weight beneath his pleated jacket.

Jan 30 2010 Day 90

Jan 30 2010 Day 90, originally uploaded by Gabrysha.

she was rushing, tossing around the nerves that invaded her senses
her senses were failing, dulled but the blunt blade of a emotional distraction and the distraction was a reaction to what the world was morphing into, into a state beyond paranoia beyond anxiety the worlds greatest drug was failing her. She was not brave in this new world she was afraid and the world was afraid with her.

Panic settles in.

The world is built with gray smoke, filling the lungs of its' creations as they walk into jobs preordained for them.They don't have a care in the world, but she cares for them.

Panic settles in.

She cares for the world choking from the smoke, choking from the gases of an atmosphere filled with anger and negative weight.Weight that is an unforgiven sin, like murder, like murder.

a soul wanders out from the smoke of a burning body and says
"Let the panic settle in."